Can you tell from reading this email what the offer is for? Neither can I. That's why this email from JetBlue merits a Fail for Content.
Lesson: Touting an incentive is inadequate if you don't explain your product or service.
Examples of and lessons from communications that neglect basic direct marketing Best Practices.
Can you tell from reading this email what the offer is for? Neither can I. That's why this email from JetBlue merits a Fail for Content.
Lesson: Touting an incentive is inadequate if you don't explain your product or service.
This self-mailer I received in early August from CookUnity reminds me of Season 12, Episode 17 of The Simpsons. Homer finds an old box of animal crackers that includes a “golden animal” prize: a trip to Africa. He tries to claim the prize -- even though the contest had been over for more than 30 years. Hilarity ensues.
Back in 2001, when I first watched the episode, I wondered: If the company had simply added a promotion expiration date to the box of animal crackers, would that have prevented all that hilarity? Can anything stop Homer Simpson?
The same question came to me this month when I received the CookUnity
self-mailer. Here, CookUnity is offering me 50% off my first week + 20% off the
next three weeks. However, nowhere in the mailer is a mention of a respond-by
date. That’s a classic Fail
for Content and a potentially Simpsons-esque Fail for Offer.
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| Self-mailer Address panel and front cover touting promotional offer. Turn up the 50HEAT! |
Why a Fail for Content? Because every direct marketing
communication should have a respond-by date. Without one, the customer has no
immediate motivation to act, and they might put it aside and forget about it
completely. If you don’t know your offer end date, consider messaging using a
soft approach: “Please reply by xx/xx/xx” or “Please reply in the next 30 days
to claim your savings.”
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| Self-mailer interior |
Why a Fail for Offer? Because, if you don’t communicate an
offer end date, someone might try to claim it later. If you’re in a situation
where don’t have a firm “offer end” date, at least consider a disclosure
reading, “Offer subject to change without notice.” Otherwise, Homer Simpson
might come knocking at your door when you least expect it. Doh!
Lesson: Your call to action should include a reason to take action now with an offer expiration date.
This small postcard from rest.com merits a Fail for Content and Offer.
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| Can you find the call to action in 3 seconds? |
It's said that the eyes convey emotion, tug at hearts and show joy. So why does the front of this small postcard have a picture of a man with no eyes and the top of his head cut off? I guess Rest decided they couldn't fit the most important part of the human face on their postcard.
The call to action (CTA) is in knock-out white text over a light-colored comforter, making it hard to see. It is in the bottom left corner, which is that the last corner a reader scans. The "HSA/FSA Eligible" message jumps, but the website name does not.
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| Small postcard with unreadable copy |
On the address side, we see the eyeless guy with an eyeless woman. (At least the woman is conveying some emotion with her smile.) Some sales messages are rendered in a font size legally too small for financial service disclosures, yet Rest mistakenly thinks it is large enough for a consumer to read with interest.
Below the marketing messages are some logos. The middle one is a Good Housekeeping symbol. I tried reading the others using my phone at 4x view. I think the one on the left is about health, but I don't know. Do you think a consumer would know or care?
The CTA is lost at the bottom in small type. The retail partners are listed in small knock-out white type over a mostly dark background. Five points to anyone who can name the retailer on upper right, because I can't.
The USPS allows for a postcard to as large as 6" x 9" to qualify for the standard postcard rate. Rest chose to make it only 4" x 6". Why? The only reason I can think of is to save a few bucks on paper for an otherwise expensive direct mail campaign. This approach is penny wise and pound foolish. Most of the visual problems could be solved with adequate space for content. Plus, a postcard this small gets lost in physical clutter.
Speaking of clutter: That's part of the problem with the postcard. There are too many messages. Rest is stuffing mention of 5,000 5-star reviews and a Good Housekeeping seal and two other logos I can't identify and something about being HSA/FSA eligible and retailers other than their website and one random testimonial. The core sales proposition is lost.
Going back to that CTA: It's simply to visit the website. There is mention of a potential 35% discount, but it is too hard to find, too hard to read and too far from the CTA. If I were to work on this postcard, I would advise Rest to include some kind of offer or value proposition next to a prominent CTA. "Enjoy up to 35% off through [date] at rest[dot]com/xxxx." The xxxx could be a URL developed specifically for this postcard, so you can at least gauge resulting traffic. But, of course, you need space to utilize this best practice.
Lessons:
This postcard from a duo of real estate brokers is a creative idea but it misses the mark in execution. Is it Mail That Fails, or just a bit too heavy on the cheese?
The front of the postcard touts "Free Pizza!*" There are over 1,800 pizzerias in New York City, because we love our pizza. I mean, if that picture isn't causing you to have a Pavlovian response, then you're not a New Yorker.
So who doesn't want free pizza, right? Yup, the postcard can be redeemed for a free Margherita pizza at Salsa Napoletana & Street Food.
That apparently no-strings-attached free pizza is a way of introducing the Volpe | Kelly Real Estate Team from Brooklyn to Queens. See, the real estate team got its start in Brooklyn and is now covering Forest Hills. Salsa Napoletana got started in Brooklyn and recently opened a shop in the area, so why not team up, right?
(Side note: Salsa Napoletana isn't really in Forest Hills. Their location is in nearby Rego Park. But, hey, it is in Queens, so that's close enough for the metaphor to work, I guess.)
The copy on the postcard makes the Brooklyn / Forest Hills connection:
Headline:
Salsa Pizzeria came from Brooklyn. So Did I. Your Home's Buyer May Too!
Copy:
In the last decade, sales of homes like yours have increased by nearly $400,000 [sic]. It's no surprise buyers from Brooklyn are craving to live in Forest Hills. As a longtime Brooklyn real estate expert and resident of Forest Hills, I'm excited to team up with Salsa Pizzeria - a beloved Brooklyn pie shop now open on Woodhaven Blvd.
Whether you're hungry for a new home or a classic slice, we've got you covered. Call today to discuss your options.
For those of you who don't know New York City, we have five boroughs, and there are reasons people choose to live in the borough of Queens. Generally speaking, Brooklyn is artsy, urban, hipster and expensive, while Queens is diverse, multicultural, family-friendly and (slightly) more affordable. Folks in Forest Hills don't want the Brooklyn lifestyle and they may not want to relate to people who tout that Brooklyn lifestyle. So, I'm not sure I'd want to tout the Brooklyn connection too much as a RTB (reason to believe) Mr. Volpe is the right broker for Forest Hills. On the other hand, Brooklyn and pizza does make for an interesting message hook.
The postcard's messaging and call to action could be strengthened. The broker could communicate not just location, but success. Potential rewrite:
Headline:
Salsa Pizzeria is successful in Brooklyn. So am I. See what we can do for you in Forest Hills.
Copy:
When Salsa Pizzeria opened in Brooklyn, it was the talk of the neighborhood. Their Neapolitan pizza was created with passion and flavor that brings people back for more. Now, their pizza is available near your home.
When I got my professional start in Brooklyn, I brought that same passion to real estate, helping connect sellers and buyers with homes they'll live in and love.
I live in Forest Hills, so whether you're hungry for a new home or a classic slice, I've got you covered. Call me today at xxx-xxx-xxxx to discuss how I can help you.
What's behind the edits:
Lessons:
The first direct mail campaign I managed was an offer for The Practical Blue Hen, an informal guidebook I wrote for new students at the University of Delaware. At the time, I was a student there and partnered with a student organization to obtain a list incoming freshmen. I composed a solicitation letter, had a local printer print it, and offered pizza to anyone in the dorm who would help me stuff them in envelopes printed with the University of Delaware and Resident Student Association logos. I figured that every incoming freshman and their parent would open mail when their college is in the return address, and many of them would buy the guidebook.
I was right -- the mailing had a 40% response rate!
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| WorryFree Example |
Someone at American Water Resources (AWR) also learned that lesson. They partnered with the New York City water board to sell water and sewer line protection services. That partnership allows them to use the NYC Department of Environmental Protection (NYC DEP) logo -- familiar familiar to New Yorkers. NYC DEP collects trash and recyclables, manages some of the local utilities, and bills homes for water use. Someone who gets a letter from the NYC DEP is going to at least pay attention to it.
Sometimes their mailers include logos from both AWR and NYC DEP, and sometimes only NYC DEP.
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| AWR Examples |
Recently, I recently received a solicitation from HomeServe that tries to copy the AWR approach but merits Fails for Targeting and Content. The return address leverages a logo from PSEG, a utility that most New Yorkers would not know. PSEG serves New Jersey, not New York. In some parts of Long Island and a small part of Queens, they operate under the name of PSEG Long Island. But PSEG by itself -- nah, in mainland Queens, we haven't heard of them. The cobranding effort is wasted.
In contrast, AWR mailers effectively leverage their partnership by giving a a bit of an official feeling to the envelopes. They include a call to action with a respond-by date, giving some urgency. They also include mention of an incentive right on the envelope. Smart -- who doesn't want a $50 credit? But WorryFree doesn't do that. Their lead-in is, "A message from PSEG," which seems pretty soft. No color, no message, no urgency. I'd love to run an A/B test comparing AWR's envelope style to WorryFree's, but if I couldn't, I'd go with AWR's. It motivates action.
Lessons:
I received this self-mailer from Cetera Investors.
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It looks like one of the typical acquisition lead generation mailers for an independent financial services firm. The offer is typical: nice dinner, lessons on making the most of one's wealth, presentation about services the firm can provide. There would likely be some selling, maybe soft sell, maybe hard sell -- that depends on the firm. Nothing out of the ordinary here.
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| Dinner Event in Bellmore, NY |
But the dinner was located in Bellmore, NY. From my home in Forest Hills, that's 28 miles as the crow flies and 45 - 100 minutes in weekday afternoon traffic. One cannot reasonably expect a potential customer to travel that far and long for a dinner presentation, which is why I consider this a Fail for Targeting.
My first thought when I read through this was a song from The Music Man, "You Gotta Know the Territory." Maybe the wealth managers were from out of the area? But no, they work in the Westbury office so they should know that New Yorkers hate to shlep and we love location convenience. If they want business from people in Queens, they need to feed people in Queens. We have plenty of great Italian restaurants here that would gladly host an event.
Mr. Roth, the wealth manager from the mailing, likely worked with a third party to obtain the mailing list and send the mailer. I hope he selects a tighter geographic radius next time so he can preserve his wealth.
Also, of concern: The self-mailer is addressed to "Mr. Marc Davis Jr." I'm not a junior and I don't have a son. Minor Fail for Targeting.
Lessons:
My mother meant well. When I was a college freshman, she meant to send me a care package. But life was so busy for Mom, working full time while taking care of two younger children. No worries for me, though -- if I wanted snacks, my dorm was just a short walk from 7-11.
When I was a sophomore, then a junior, still no care
packages. Somehow, I got by on healthy cafeteria food.
Then, senior year -- the day before final exams -- a
small box showed up at my apartment door. It was filled with assorted snacks
and a note from my mother. I called her up to thank her and asked why she’d
sent it during my last week of my last year of school. She replied, “I didn’t
want you to say I never sent you a care package.” Aw, Mom, so sweet -- but a
bit late.
Did you know that April was Financial Literacy Month? Even
though it’s been recognized in the United States for over 20 years, apparently
Venmo remembered it just in the nick of time: It was the
theme of an email they sent me 40 minutes before the end of the month.
I suppose they didn't want me to think they'd forgotten to share some financial money tips during Financial Literacy Month. Or maybe the content managers had planned to send this content earlier in the month but were too busy? Fail for Timing.
Lesson:
Be relevant early, not late.
Four years ago, I shared a recommendation that Merrell include a clearly communicated offer expiration date on their postcards.
In October, I received this postcard.
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| Disclosure with Expiration Date (Enlarged for readability) |
So, what happened? I thought about buying my wife a new pair of hiking shoes for Christmas. I set aside the postcard, and came back to it after Thanksgiving. I tried to make a purchase using the promo code on the postcard; however, alas, the offer had expired. This is Merrell's Fail for Content.
An expiration date motivates action. Action means response. Response means sales. The lack of an expiration means fewer sales for Merrell.
So why not put some urgency around the offer? Merrell could simply add, "Use your coupon code by November 16, 2024, to enjoy your discount" in a readable font size -- like you know, 12 or 14 point. Without increasing production costs, the message could appear in the white space below the picture of those cool Wrapt hybrid shoes or on the address panel above the name.
Lesson -- same as four years ago:
Your call to action should include a clearly communicated, definitive offer expiration date.
* Many people mistakenly refer to small print associated with marketing communications as a disclaimer, when in fact it is a disclosure. According to dictionary.com, a ‘disclaimer’ is “the act of disclaiming; the renouncing, repudiating, or denying of a claim; disavowal” while a ‘disclosure’ is “the act or an instance of disclosing; exposure; revelation.” ‘Disclose’ is defined as “to make known; reveal or uncover” From a Marketing standpoint, a disclaimer is an admission that the headline is false – otherwise why renounce it? However, a disclosure provides secondary but relevant facts of an offer. So the only reason an offer or marketing communication would require a disclaimer is if it was misleading from the onset.
When I started this blog 15 years ago, my intent was to share direct marketing lessons using real-world communications as examples. While I have been able to focus on my professional passion by writing these posts, I also hope you enjoyed reading and learning from them.
My goal of this blog hasn't changed over a decade and a half, but direct marketing jargon has -- so I'm updating the categories I use to classify Mail That Fails.
The terms may have changed, but these basic principles applied 15 years ago -- and they're still important for both physical mail and email.
Email deployment tools are continuing to be more sophisticated and more complex. Marketers need to start with the basics such as target audience and desired outcome to drive their messaging approach. We need to stay relevant by executing cleanly and on a timely basis.
Sometimes there are circumstances beyond a marketer's control, so not every campaign can be successful. But by keeping core marketing principles in mind, we can avoid producing Mail That Fails.
I recently received on the same day two of the exact same solicitations to donate to the ASPCA.
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| Make the puppy happy. Clean up your mailing list. |
This is a classic Fail for Targeting. All mailers should go through list cleansing steps, including removing duplicates. I like this advice from Strata: double check your mailing list by hand. This is also known as eyeballing a list -- sometimes that visual inspection will reveal something that the most sophisticated software will miss.
Lessons: